What Do You Need Most Right Now?
I recently worked with a team navigating a significant shift—a key member of their leadership was departing. As expected, the conversation quickly turned to solutions. Leaders, by nature, are wired to problem-solve. They jumped straight into action: What stopgaps do we need? How do we take care of what’s most urgent right now?
But as their coach, I felt a deep responsibility to pull them out of that default mode and guide them through the emotional undercurrents of the change. Because before you can effectively solve problems, you need to pause and process.
This is where one of the core principles of leadership coaching comes in: stepping up to the balcony. Instead of staying stuck in the frantic details of the moment, it’s about gaining a broader view—what’s actually happening? What emotions, attitudes, and beliefs are driving my reactions right now?
I kept coming back to one simple yet powerful question for them:
What do I need most right now?
For two hours, I held them in that space. Not because they didn’t want to answer, but because it was hard to answer. High-achieving leaders—especially those who care deeply about their teams, their mission, and the people they serve—often struggle to slow down enough to check in with themselves.
And I get it. I do the same thing. In times of stress, my mind races ahead, thinking about everything I have to take care of. The future-focus turns into a spiral of catastrophic thinking—What if I miss something? What if I can’t handle it all? What if everything falls apart?
Does that sound familiar?
This is why the question isn’t what do I want? but what do I need? It forces clarity. It cuts through the noise and helps you see where your attention and energy should go. It’s the difference between being reactive and being intentional.
Urgency vs. Importance: The Eisenhower Matrix Approach
One way to think about this is through the Eisenhower Matrix, a simple yet powerful prioritization tool. It helps leaders differentiate between what’s urgent and what’s truly important. Many of us spend too much time in the urgent quadrant, putting out fires, but rarely step back to focus on the long-term, high-impact work that truly matters.
But before you even get to prioritization, you need to get clear on your needs.
What Does This Look Like in Practice?
For me, clarity came this morning. I’m at my family farm, it’s 9 a.m., and I’ve already tackled some emails and immediate tasks. Now, I’m taking a walk before spending the rest of the day helping my dad with farm work. And I know this is exactly what I need. A break. A reprieve. A chance to reset.
That realization only came because I asked myself: What do I need most right now?
Now It’s Your Turn
As a leader, as a parent, as a partner—what do you need most right now?
Not what the company needs. Not what your team needs. Not what your family needs. What do you need?
Can you give yourself permission to pause and answer that honestly?
Because here’s the truth: if you don’t, no one else will do it for you. And if you keep running on empty, your impact as a leader will suffer.
So, take a moment. Step back. Get up on the balcony. And ask yourself:
What do I need most right now?
If you’re struggling with that answer, I’m here. Reach out. You don’t have to figure it out alone. Rooting for you.